LegalZoom & Borrowed Clothes

I have been scared, even terrified to the point of fainting before. But nothing prepared me for how I would feel walking into the courthouse.

Smiling bravely, I grabbed my pink briefcase off the security belt and took a deep breath. Goddess, please let everything I learned on LegalZoom.com be legit!!

So many thoughts went through my head. I was sweating just thinking about being in the same room with him (the last time we saw each other was February 21st). But now wasn’t the time. You see, I didn’t have the luxury of just showing up after a long shift at work and letting someone else handle the case. No, I had 24hrs to become a divorce lawyer. . .and to borrow clothes from my friend so I looked the part!img_20160810_132244Shutting down as much emotion as possible, I entered the lobby. Since we weren’t allowed to have our phones (brutal!!!) I began journaling:

August 10th, 10:15am

There he is. Sitting there in his pressed shirt and his military style hair cut.

I’m literally shaking.

Ms. McDaniel is with him and his lawyer.

I’m by myself. . .but I’m not alone.

I think about how Ms. McDaniel was with me when I miscarried. She held my hand as I silently wept while the doctor pulled my baby from my body.

I wonder if they know they are over-prepared. That I’m self-represented. That I didn’t want any of this. Why is he doing this? Surely he doesn’t need the money??

My heart has slowed a little.

God. . .just don’t let me cry – or pass out!! I’m trying to think of calming things; my nieces. . .the moon over the ocean. . .

(Looks up and sees “Remove Chewing Gum” sign on the courtroom door. . .crap!)

I wish I knew what he wanted from me. . .

 

Legally Blonde-ish

Friday, August 5th, 9PM:

I walked into my house after another long day at work, flip the light switch and. . .nothing. The house was eerily quiet with only the sound of fur baby paws on the hardwood.

The electric was off- again. . .Confused, I called the electric company since my bill had been paid through the 20th. The account holder had disconnected services. The babies and I would have to wait until Monday evening for the power to be turned back on.
It was hot. I had fur babies. I had a court case to prepare for. I had a full weekend of work. . .

img_20160716_090412I had friends.

That weekend, Mr. Satchel and I stayed at a friend’s house.
Worked out pretty great too because she needed me to cat sit for her anyway!!

I was still in disbelief that the court systems were now involved in what was agreed to be a “no fault” divorce. After being separated for six months, imagine my surprise when I was served divorce papers from a. . .umm <clears throat> “private investigator”. Even more surprising was how soon I had to provide a legal response to the courts.

That weekend I continued to look for a lawyer to represent me at the temporary hearing on August 10th. All hands were on deck as my sweet friends also joined the search to help find someone. By Monday, I finally got a response from a female lawyer!! Yes!! She said since the court date was so soon, she could ask for an extension on the response since there clearly wasn’t enough time to prepare one. All she needed from me was a cool $5,000 so she could request an extension. . .remember. . .not a response, but an extension, so she could have time to prepare the actual response (this is important, I promise lol).

Hmm. . .let’s see how much money I have. Yup. . .that looks like $126. . .and 100 of that was going towards getting my power back on lol. I knew I didn’t have the money. I also knew that I was “just a little girl that worked at Red Ventures” and didn’t have the time or experience to be my own lawyer.

The moment I sat at my friend’s table will be stuck in my head forever. I remember just sitting there. Dumbfounded. Emotionless. Thoughtless. Still. I called on my spirit guides for wisdom and to help me. I could feel that I had to handle this on my own- but I didn’t want to. Wanting to make sure this was an accurate feeling, I drew a card. It was clear what I had to do.

I took the rest of Monday off and I moved my Tuesday and Wednesday shifts. My power was turned on that evening. . .and your girl got to work! (to be continued. . .)

Thanks for being on this journey with me. I send my love to others going through trials and struggles. It is not easy. You will feel defeated. . .but your goodness of heart will be respected by the spirit realm. Don’t ask God for him to deliver you from your hardships, rather ask him for the STRENGTH to arise victorious!!

If you would like to donate monetarily, please use this site: https://www.gofundme.com/ltimbs

Of course, keep sending the love and light. . .that’s like currency for the soul xoxo

Break the Cycle

Sometimes you don’t realize that you are a part of a cycle. Sometimes you do, but you don’t know how to break it.

You worry that you will end up just like the people that hurt you. Wondering if you should even take certain opportunities for fear of royally screwing things up.

Guess what- the fact that you’re worried about it is a step in the right direction! You’ve ACKNOWLEDGED that you were hurt. You realize that you have been mistreated. Not wanting to cause misery for someone else is a good thing. However, if your fear is getting in the way of living your BEST life, then it’s time to break the cycle IN YOUR HEAD!

For me, it’s my physical appearance (see my Showgirl blog). It’s like no matter WHAT I look like, I get negative feedback. And for me, I’d rather those people in my life not feel threatened by me when I look good. . .that is until my breakthrough a few nights ago. I was telling my success partner that I know I can get in shape with abs and all the rest- I’ve DONE it before. But every time I’ve looked good, I get accused of forgetting where I’ve come from, being showy, and self-absorbed. Are those things true?? Pft- who knows. . .but I do know one thing, if those things are true, they’ve ALWAYS been there, not just because I look good. The same goes for when I’ve put on weight. The whole “are you pregnant”, you sure have gotten “healthy” and here comes chubby.

Because I’ve always been proud of who I am and consider myself to be a very caring and approachable person, I quickly realized that I would rather be a little chubby & deal with stupid remarks, than to look good and make people feel inferior.

Not any more. I will NOT let the voices of a few, trump the SUPPORT of the many. I want and DESERVE to look and feel my best. Self-sabotage is no longer an option. It is not productive, nor is it fair to the majority of people that look to me for inspiration. Haters will always hate. And if someone feels inferior because of me, then maybe they should take some time to get to KNOW me. . .because I’m the farthest thing from superior. . .just ask my friends ♥

Are you holding back in your life because of physical, verbal, emotional abuse? Are you ready to BREAK THE CYCLE??*kisses*

 

Family Matters: My Sister

I quite honestly don’t even know where to begin- I have started “this blog” about my family MANY times, and just can’t get into it. I thought I would start with my sister since she has been a consistent part of my life:

Growing up, my sister and I had a very normal sibling relationship. We fought, we laughed, we cried. As we got older, we went our separate ways, but still stayed in “contact”. When I called off my engagement to my ex (46 days before the wedding)- she was the ONLY one in my family that supported me. The rest of my family not only felt, but harshly verbalized what scum I was to do such a horrible thing to my ex. I was even told that I was lucky to have him and that I better stay with him because no one else would “put up with me”. (Interesting considering I’m happily married and my ex is on his 5th engagement) My sister was also the only one that called me on my “wedding date” to check on me. I’ll never forget- she was like “Hey girly, watcha doing?!” To which I replied, “Looking at fish in Wal-Mart!” It’s those little things that she remembers that makes a world of difference.

Just two months after what was supposed to be my wedding, I was hospitalized for internal bleeding. I had been throwing up blood for around 6 hours, and was very weak. My good friends made me go to the hospital because I didn’t want to go- I had no insurance (and que my debt!). My sister came in from Winston and brought lots of gum flavors (I wasn’t allowed to eat), America’s Funniest Videos and slept in the reclining chair next to me. We were there all weekend and my dear friends came to visit me throughout as I waited til the doctor could perform my procedure. I think the funniest part was her sleep walking in the hospital room- HYSTERICAL! On the day of my procedure, my parents came. They felt I was over-reacting, but at least came for support. They stayed until my procedure was done, but had to leave before results came back. I’ll never forget that my sister stayed with me- when the doctor came with my results, he calmly looked at my sister and said, “She shouldn’t be alive”. We both started misting up as we looked at the pictures of my stomach and what a wreck it was. I’m forever grateful for her being there with me.

Those are just two of the life-changing moments my sister was supportive and cared for me. There have been many more, but those two circumstances really highlight the depth of our relationship. We don’t always agree. We poke fun at each other’s choices. But most importantly, we are the only ones in our family that have a RESPECTFUL and healthy relationship. We accept one another for who we are, no matter how weird or strange we may be! We have been through a lot of crap, but we have also celebrated some pretty awesome times together, for which I am so thankful.

Do you have a sibling that means everything to you? When was the last time you told them? Pick up the phone and call them today. . .Me and my sissy!

 

 

Unfriend

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You know what’s the cutest form of flattery ever?

When someone has done YOU wrong and THEY delete you from their social media 🙂

This happens to me so often, I really don’t have to worry about keeping a check on my friends list!

Basically, someone decides to do something dumb, and not own up to it. I confront them about it. They delete me- it’s that simple.

You know what’s even better? My profile is PUBLIC. Which means, I DO NOT care who sees my life.

If I ever do get the chance to delete someone, it’s because I don’t want to be associated with you. . .

To sum it up- when you do something wrong, and you don’t own up to it, you will probably delete me. . .and for that I say thank you!

PS: If you are reading this and think it is about you- IT IS.

Holiday Haters

Here’s the deal folks. I’ve always loved holidays- whether they celebrated ME or not! Holidays aren’t meant to be selfish. . . they are a time of giving and recognizing someone else 🙂

Take Valentine’s day, for example. It is NOT about single’s awareness- it is about LOVE. Love comes in all forms. . .Look around for goodness sake!

Loving your pets: and more importantly recognizing that they love you back. . . UNCONDITIONALLY!
When was the last time a human gave you a hug and wanted to snuggle after you left them in the house for 12hrs with nothing but a puppy pad and your favorite shoes to chew on?

How about a roommate that would listen to your drunken whines and complaints about life, even though you haven’t emptied the litter box in DAYS. And don’t even get me started on what you look like in the morning! Trust me- we are all tough to look at. . .yet pets don’t seem to mind. You have a Valentine- do something special for THEM!

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My Mom’s Widow Brunch this year!

Widows: yeah I’m going there. Because while you are freakin’ hating life and throwing a full blown pity party- complete with Facebook invites and a Pinterest board- someone else is remembering a loved one they HAD.

My mom has held a Valentine’s Day Brunch (see picture) for the local widows for as long as I remember. My sister and I (and

eventually the master swooner that is my brother!) would be the servers. We got to experience an amazing connectedness and selflessness with a group of people that actually have a reason to HATE Valentine’s Day- send someone that has lost a loved one a Valentine.

Yourself: this is what it really boils down to! Are you ready? It’s very simple: love yourself and you won’t expect it OR need it from someone else.

People that are at peace with who they are, accept their flaws, celebrate their strengths- don’t need the fanfare of any holiday! They can enjoy the happiness that others receive. Because they love themselves, they are COMFORTABLE loving others. When was the last time you reflected on yourself and thought, “You know what? I’m alright. . .I’ve gone through some crappy times, but I’m a darn good person and I love who I’m shaping up to be. I can be satisfied with myself and not steal joy from others because I know I’m complete-“

You don’t NEED anyone- people are just the icing on the cake ❤

Please and thank you

I’m not sure where manners have gone- but it’s definitely a thing of the past when people comment on good behavior. When did we start not only accepting rude behavior, but being part of it??

“Get me a drink-” vs. “Hey, if you don’t mind, could you grab me a drink? Thanks!”

(Wow- as I’m writing those two statements, I may have figured out one aspect of this issue. . .EFFORT! Sure it takes a few more seconds to say the second statement, but after all, the person you’re asking for a drink is putting in effort for you, right?)

Ok, back to what I was going to say! lol Simple politeness goes a long way. What if someone has just gotten bad news, or already having a tough day- you come in with a “Give me this” and that might be all it takes for someone to pop off with a “Get it yourself” and a fight ensues.

Another aspect of manners would be etiquette. There are certain situations that can be avoided with a little bit of planning and consideration of others. I’m not sure what is to blame for people wanting to create drama and make things completely HotTeaawkward for people they “care” about, but it’s downright disgusting.

Sure, we all have our moments where we unintentionally come across as rude or insensitive, but in our house (hubs and me) it is second nature to be polite. Just because we’re married doesn’t give us the right to DEMAND things of one another! We are to ASK and be grateful for what each of us contributes to the relationship.

We are also VERY accommodating to our families and will make personal compromises because those relationship are extremely important to us. Our little “policy” is that as long as something doesn’t negatively affect us as individuals, our relationship, or morals we’re pretty darn flexible.

Start observing how you talk to and treat people- not just at work- but to your spouse, your kids and family. Decide if your life AND theirs is worth the EFFORT.

Please and thank you 🙂

K-Tape: The 8th wonder!

So, my right knee has been bothering me pretty bad for about a month now, and I’ve tried to talk myself out of the pain. . .
This Saturday, I was wearing shorts (thanks to the awesome weather here in the Carolinas) and my friend noticed that my knee was quite swollen- she said I need to be careful, could be a torn meniscus. of course, I’ve never heard of that before! All I know is it’s pain and swelling behind my knee!
I did some research & asked around to find that RICE was what I needed: rest, ice, compression, elevation. It was easy to do all but the compression part- I have kid sized legs, so it made it difficult. . .until. . .K Tape.

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I was very skeptical if this- although, I had seen people in the Olympics wearing tape. . .I had my doubts. I got it in pink, just to be safe, then hopped on YouTube to see how to wrap it. Literally, after a min, I felt a release!! I thought it was placebo or something. . .I walked around on it, and sure enough, it was WAY better. Granted, still tender, but the intensity was gone =D
After a few hours, I mindfully did some yoga- was even able to hold this pose pain-free

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I’m sure most of you already knew about this tape, but for me, this us a game changer!!