Before Pictures

Taking before pictures has never bothered me. I mean, it is what it is, right?

You put on a brave face, find some decent lighting, and set the timer on your phone or take a mirror selfie. You have full control over who sees it and WHEN they see it. You also get to take as many pics as you need to before selecting the perfect “before”.

However, when you step into a room of strangers, a professional photographer, and nothing but a tiny bikini on under your sweat clothes. . .yeah, I sweated more in that 10min than I ever have during a workout!

For the challenge, it said that the judging is mainly based on pictures. So being the nerd that I am, I looked at the winners from past challenges. All of their before pictures were in two piece swimwear or active-wear.

I assumed that the other participants would be stripping down to their skivvies too. . .but NOOOOOOO. . .just me, my chubs and my tiny bikini lol

I consider myself a pretty confident person, but let me tell you, I wanted to throw up and get some cardio by running away! But I didn’t. I just said, well, I’m wearing a bikini so y’all get ready for all my glory!

I can only hope that my winter body and skin tone look nice against the black bikini and white background. Maybe the headline on the USA Today paper was engaging enough to draw everyone’s attention to the headline instead of my waistline.

Or. . .maybe everyone there was just like me. Too busy judging their own bodies to give a hoot about the glaringly white, chubby chick, sweating in the bikini.

Take a moment and think about the last time you were anxious about what others thought. Are you giving “them” and their thoughts of you more power than you give yourself? Do you let what MIGHT be going through a strangers mind stop you from experiencing something great?

I didn’t like the feeling of standing there, a foot away from a professional lens with all my razor bumps and super chubs, but I can guarantee I’m gonna like posing down in 12 weeks looking like a winner! (and hopefully with a tan!)201511_1122_aaaba_sm

 

 

Meal or Entrée?

Thanksgiving, crazy work schedule, and stressful life events are all good reasons to reach for the Sour Patch Kids and Krispy Kreme.

I made it through Thanksgiving by eating a little spoon of everything and just having a few bites of dessert. I didn’t feel deprived. . .I was STUFFED and enjoyed my meal.

Follow that by working 6 days in a row, long shifts, where work catered food twice a day.

For times like those, I would pick out the foods that were good for me, instead of being like, Well, I’ll just pick up my healthy eating after this week.

Then comes a stressful event. You know, the kind where even others say it’s OK to eat whatever you want because you deserve it!

Trust me when I say, what you deserve is to keep your eating and gym sessions in tact. At least those are things you CAN control!

Then yesterday it happened. “Meal or Entrée?” It was some type of kids night at Chick-fil-A. It was pack and people were literally swarming. “Meal!” I said without thinking.

I didn’t even realize I had inhaled half the fries. . .uggh. Well, it was an accident. I’m sure the fries didn’t do too much damage.

Ummm, oh yes they did!! Wiped out 400 calories from my daily allowance and didn’t even fill me up!!!

Having said all that, if you don’t do anything else for your diet. . .skip the fries!! It’s in the extras. The sauces, sides, drinks. Empty calories!

Stay strong y’all. If you feel like you deserve a break because life is being difficult, then take a break- meditate, chat with friends, read. Don’t screw yourself even more by loosing control of your healthy choices!

No Flex Zone

My first training session went great. Looks like my trainer is going to be Helen. She was awesome & even sent me a text later in the afternoon to followup and said I could text her any time 🙂

I felt SO good. My workouts were simple and challenging yet I didn’t feel helpless and defeated.

Also, I talked with her about indulging. . .you know, I still want to be able to enjoy some of my fave foods, life is just too short!!

She said the best way to do that is to have a splurge snack everyday. A little something to break up the monotony of boiled chicken and brown rice 😛

As promised, here are my before pictures! Got some serious work to do on my torso so I can get healthy. . .of course, if I end up looking like an⏳ that wouldn’t hurt either!

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Slow Motion

So it’s been a week since my fit test and here’s what’s happened:

Went in for my personal training session. . .and my trainer had to cancel because he was feeling ill. . .

I mean, it’s not the first time professional help has canceled on me. I’ve had several shrinks skip out once they learned what the were dealing with!!

Needless to say, I have my next appointment this Wednesday.

I stuck to my meal plan all week & did some “celebrating” over the weekend. I’ll be honest, even though I enjoyed it & didn’t feel guilty, I think I’ll be less inclined to wile out again. It totally screwed with my appetite for the following 2 days!

I’ve been diligent to log my food. I’ve found the easiest way to track my food is to use My Fitness Pal. You can scan the bar code of what you consume. . .even type in the places you go out to eat!

Feel free to check out my little profile & add me. I made everything public so you can see exactly what I’m eating (unless I under eat. . .the app won’t allow those posts to show. . .which I think is a good thing!)

Hope to have some updates on my first session as well as before pics for y’all on Wednesday! Until then ✌

The Problem with Cheat Days

Today has been ROUGH!! I’ve been looking for any and every excuse to “cheat”. I’m still following my plan and doing what I’m supposed to do, but I’m slipping into depression.

I found this article and thought is made a lot of sense. . .it’s SO TRUE!! I’ve literally been obsessing over foods I can’t have!!

After reading this article, I don’t feel so bad. I’ll probably drink my protein shake & if I still feel some cravings hit, get a small pack of Twizzlers.

In a nutshell, I need to stop viewing the foods I LOVE as bad & just view them as tasty options every now and again 😙

How do you view your food??

https://blog.myfitnesspal.com/the-problem-with-cheat-days/

Break the Cycle

Sometimes you don’t realize that you are a part of a cycle. Sometimes you do, but you don’t know how to break it.

You worry that you will end up just like the people that hurt you. Wondering if you should even take certain opportunities for fear of royally screwing things up.

Guess what- the fact that you’re worried about it is a step in the right direction! You’ve ACKNOWLEDGED that you were hurt. You realize that you have been mistreated. Not wanting to cause misery for someone else is a good thing. However, if your fear is getting in the way of living your BEST life, then it’s time to break the cycle IN YOUR HEAD!

For me, it’s my physical appearance (see my Showgirl blog). It’s like no matter WHAT I look like, I get negative feedback. And for me, I’d rather those people in my life not feel threatened by me when I look good. . .that is until my breakthrough a few nights ago. I was telling my success partner that I know I can get in shape with abs and all the rest- I’ve DONE it before. But every time I’ve looked good, I get accused of forgetting where I’ve come from, being showy, and self-absorbed. Are those things true?? Pft- who knows. . .but I do know one thing, if those things are true, they’ve ALWAYS been there, not just because I look good. The same goes for when I’ve put on weight. The whole “are you pregnant”, you sure have gotten “healthy” and here comes chubby.

Because I’ve always been proud of who I am and consider myself to be a very caring and approachable person, I quickly realized that I would rather be a little chubby & deal with stupid remarks, than to look good and make people feel inferior.

Not any more. I will NOT let the voices of a few, trump the SUPPORT of the many. I want and DESERVE to look and feel my best. Self-sabotage is no longer an option. It is not productive, nor is it fair to the majority of people that look to me for inspiration. Haters will always hate. And if someone feels inferior because of me, then maybe they should take some time to get to KNOW me. . .because I’m the farthest thing from superior. . .just ask my friends ♥

Are you holding back in your life because of physical, verbal, emotional abuse? Are you ready to BREAK THE CYCLE??*kisses*